Take a moment and pause.

more from "now what?"...

"Put a symbol on your desk or wall where you can see it to remind you that today you and Jesus are partnering together in your work. Maybe it's just one word: peace, or wisdom, or joy, or diligence. Every few hours as you're working, pause for two or three minutes. Close the door (if you have one), look out the window (if you have one), and just remember that God is at work in the whole world. Thank him for his help. Rest with him for a moment, hand him your worries, and ask for his energy. Every moment of every day is an opportunity to be with Jesus. When you forget -- and you will, when you mess up --and you will, remember this really important rule: There's to be no beating yourself up! Every moment is another chance. God just keeps sending them. That's grace. Every moment is a new chance for you to be with him."

I needed these moments today. Of course I didnt re-read this part of the book until like 4.30 in the afternoon... but I paused at my desk, and remembered that in this book, there was something that would help. And I read this, and it actually did help. As I drove home, I wondered if I would come home, find something to eat, sit in front of the tv to have some company, and wondered if I would just watch tv all nite again, for the 4th nite in a row. I come home tired, maybe even with a big headache... but what does sitting in front of the tv do to help that? sometimes i use it as an excuse - i say it makes me think, but really.. today i came home and said i'm gonna see what i can do instead of watch tv. i put in a cd and just layed on my bed for probably 20 minutes just stopping everything. wouldnt you know, i started thinking, really thinking..

somehow I got thinking about beauty, wanting to look beautiful. thinking about the clothes we wear, makeup, all the time put into it. when i look in the mirror, i dont see beautiful. on some level it bothers me. i wondered how many other girls feel this way. i wondered how many girls completely honestly look in the mirror and felt beautiful. i wondered where exactly my idea of beautiful came from. and i wondered since when did being beautiful become such a big deal? why is it so important? i wonder how young we are when we begin to compare ourselves to others around us. i'm not sure what i believe about beautiful. i'm not swinging on the pendulum. i'm not saying the idea of beautiful is evil. yet. i'm just wondering...

i read a quote in a magazine once, cut it out and glued it to a binder in fact. it says, "Truth is, there are a million girls prettier than us... Everybody is looking at somebody else, and the answer is really to stop looking in the mirror. You are never going to be satisfied with what you see until you see Jesus inside of you."

i dont think i'm to that point yet. that's okay.. life is a journey.

"Anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." ~Acts 2:21

for the praise of His glory,
Melissa

Renewed Moment

So... this was great. First of all, it's day 3 of my first real world job and its a little bit of a challenge to adjust. So I wake up at 6 this morning, an hour early, and of course just keep trying to sleep. I finally get up at 7, when the alarm goes off, and I was just in a bad mood all morning.. I dont know why, it just wouldnt go away. I was getting frustrated about turning down Tokyo, especially after my boss on the first day says "i'm surprised you didnt want to take a month off before you started work..." anyway, it just wouldnt go away. So I'm driving to work, knowing that this attitude is just trouble, and I'm still in training - which means with my boss all day - and having a bad attitude is basically really not good. I started praying, asking God to renew my spirit b/c it definitely wasnt giving glory to Him.. and as I'm driving, I'm listening to Jeremy Camp and his song "I Surrender to You" comes on. Instantly, I knew God had answered my prayer, and that the day was going to be different. The words of the song say "All that I am is for you my savior, I live by your word and surrender to you. Here where I stand in the moment father, my spirit has been renewed, I surrender to you." No joke -- I couldnt actually believe what I was hearing, but yet again, God reminded me that He is with me always, and even if I am in a bad mood, which will happen, knowing that God is still there :)

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry..." ~James 1:19

for the praise of His glory,
Melissa

ah-ha! moment

So I just had an 'ah-ha!' moment and wanted to write it down! I was reading more from John Ortberg's "now what?" book and it yet again is fabulous. Seriously. spend the $15 and go buy it. Today I read 2 chapters - "Time Alone" and "Pray About Everything". 2 Chronicles 15:2 really struck home with me. It says The Lord is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you. And then the whole chapter about praying about everything... again so good, check this out:

"Praying what is really in my heart is an 'in everything' kind of prayer. I dont wait to clean up my motives first. I dont try to sound more spiritual than I am. I dont pray what I think out to be in me, or what I think God wants to hear. I pray what's really in me."

It just again hits home with the message of stop trying to be the hero! It's humbling to pray 'in everything' (reference philippians 4:6) because pride is thrown out the window... but anyway, back to the 'ah-ha!' moment! So of course the book says try it now, dont wait - pray in everything now! just lay it all out there. and after feeling disconnected with God and not really knowing how to start a prayer, this is a great method.. and so i did, and its like the floodgates opened! Within the past few minutes, and reflecting on past experience, I realized that conversation flows most easily when you just speak from your heart, lay it out there and be genuine, not agonizing over every word, just being real. and who knew.. the same is true with God! no wonder the bible says pray in everything, because somehow, its when the greatest conversations with God seem to take place! ah! i love it! how simple are God's truths that we in our self-complicated lives miss for so long! i think this one is one i need to remember. Pray in Everything.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." ~Philippians 4:6

for the praise of His glory,
Melissa

Just an Average Moment

Well, nothing overly new in Nashville. It's like 90 degrees and its only May 11. Too bad a month from today I wont be in Tahoe like I was at this time last year... I start my real world job in 5 days - it is really going to be weird. So that means my summer is gone in 4 days which really is okay.. My parents are coming tomorrow (without the puppy - sad.) Friday is graduation rehearsal and baccalaureate, and graduation is Saturday, and saturday nite we're surprising my dad and going to see Patti Griffin at the Ryman Auditorium!

Keelie left for Texas today so I've got the apartment to myself. I'm learning self control - trying not to just sit in front of the TV whenever I think I've got nothing to do. I cant wait til I have my own place that DOESNT have a TV.

I've been kind of distant from Jesus lately, just havent made the time it seems like. I think my relationship w/ God is starting to seem like the rest of my life has always seemed - like there's gotta be more to it, I've gotta be missing out on something and because I feel this way and because of my strange problem with mental responsibility (what a catch phrase...), it always seems like a cloud hanging overhead. Weird.. anyway, that's where I'm at.

"The time is coming," declares the Lrd, "when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah. It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke my covenant, though I was a husband to them," declares the Lord. "This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time," declares the Lord. "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest," declares the Lord. "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." ~Jeremiah 31:31-34

Dry moments

So I woke up twenty billion times this morning, staring at like 6am and then every 15ish minutes after that, trying not to actually get up that early! but i did. and it was not long after that i realized the apartment has no running water! I felt like I should be frustrated with that happening, but I'm not, which is surprising to me, but a really good sign. Yesterday, emily and i went to barnes and noble and i bought this book called "now what? God's guide to life for graduates" by John Ortberg and it is actually AWESOME! I was reading some of it before I went to sleep last nite, and this is what it said

"The way you get up in the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day, so here's the task: Tomorrow, as soon as you can, get alone for a few minutes with God. This is very important. Dont try to be heroic with this or you'll set yourself up for failure. Dont try to make it last an hour. Five minutes is fine. Get alone, and renew your invitation from Jesus to be with you all day ... So many people start their day, day after day, anxious, hurried, frenzied, fearful, afraid, or rushed. You dont have to! You're going to start your day anyway, why not start it with Jesus? Do you have any better offers? You're going to have a first thought anyhow; you're going to have a first word of the day, why not let it belong to God, before whom all anxieties and impurities and restlessness flee? You can do this. You can start each day with God."

I've really been struggling lately, i've gotten caught up in the craziness of the end of the semester, and getting a job, and thinking about where i'm going to live. i havent thought a lot about God, not outside of asking him for things at least. God broke through yesterday, which I am extremely grateful for, and this book is also really awesome. I still wish I had more desire to read my bible, and for a purpose that is God-centered and not me-centered. but...God probably wants that too, which means he is probably moving me closer to that, it's just a process.

On a different note, I take my one final today - in three hours. I havent studied much for it. everyone is telling me i shouldnt even go. they're funny. of course i'll go! but i am going to stop writing here, so i can go study, and if necessary, go shower and whatnot at school - they have running water! So there you go. that's where i'm at right now. i'm sure i'll share more of the wisdom from this "now what?" book in days to come, as I should be starting my job next week!

"Be strong and do the work." ~1 Chronicles 28:10

for the praise of His glory,
melissa