come with me full circle

well... i really should be asleep right now. i should have been asleep 2 and a half hours ago. if i fall asleep right now, it'd mean 5 and a half hours of sleep. but i feel like my mind is spinning. i needed to put away laundry that i did today. instead, it's sitting on my bed. i wanted to read the yoga magazine and national geographic magazine i got earlier today, but i havent. i want to have read my bible today, but i didnt. i have a ton to do at work the next 2 and a half days. i'm not sure how to be super diligent while at work so that everything gets done. maybe i'll turn IM off. that thought actually calms me down a bit. i like it a lot actually. maybe enough to actually go to sleep. maybe i'll turn some phil wickham on to fall asleep to. now that is a grand idea...

but while i'm here.. i guess i can update life real quick. i'm excited to be going home for thanksgiving - i expect it to be super busy and not 'relaxing' per se.. [maybe i dont really know what a relaxing vacation looks like... i think i'm always looking for a mysterious something else, but, in not knowing what exactly it is that i'm looking for, i live in a terrible inbetween world. but that's a long thought for another blog]. anyway. home will be much fun with the family. last week i got to go to the phil wickham/audio adrenaline/mercyme show. actually paid for our tickets. it was nice to just be a regular fan again [altho our seats did end up being right in front of the soundbooth area. we stood with our arms crossed and smug looks a lot, laughing that we felt like snobby music people. luckily when audioa played, it was back to the high school days and the music industry disappeared momentarily]. i'll miss audio adrenaline - they had a place in this world that is so unique. there may be music out there like theirs, but there is something very different about an audio adrenaline concert.. i should know. it was good to be reminded of this...

this weekend was not too shabby, hung out with a lot of people that are very different from me - by that of course i mean different from the crowd of people i'm used to [like i had before i moved south]. it challenged me in ways, i bit my lip a lot to not run my mouth and be opinionated. and i was nearing melancholy most evenings, but wasnt going to pretend to be cheerful just for the sake of appearing cheerful. and here we are, sunday evening, a chance of flurries in the air tonight, and an early alarm tomorrow morning. my eyes are starting to burn. they need sleep. i need rest. i need time with jesus in the morning. and i need a productive day tomorrow. but mostly, i just need jesus.