here's to today.

here's to another day wasted
here's to another dollar spent
here's to another missed opportunity
here's to me.

i've been remembering the days without television. those were good days. days when i stopped being afraid of the quiet. days when reading didnt put me to sleep. i've noticed i'm wasting a lot of time lately. i'm on my computer too much, serving no purpose, playing games, checking my email for no apparent reason. which reminds me, there was a day, too, without internet at home. i remember that apartment well. it certainly was not anything fancy. the living room had a couch & 2 chairs. they were all blue, and the tables were from the 70s. i remember when people walked in and commented on how much they loved how the room was setup - they couldnt figure out why they'd never arranged a room like mine before. then they realized that the room is always centered around the tv. and now my room, too, is centered around the tv. as am i.

yesterday i wanted to run away. just for a night. drive a few hours and spend an evening at a mountain lodge just to get away. i didnt do it. i kind of regret it.
but tomorrow is a new day. a new chance to use my time differently, to stop the trend of apathy. i'm not sure where i can go, but i think i've gotta go. to spend some time just thinking through life, thinking about its meaning and purpose, thinking about how to be wise with my finances, thinking about God. i've still got a list of things i've been meaning to do:
read ecclesiastes
write bihuko
call allison
track my spending
write out why i stopped going to church
i dont want to miss the time i have this weekend because i'm already not looking forward to work on monday.